You know sometimes I do wonder what kind of a friend I am in others' eyes.
Maybe I have the 富贵相 or I'm giving off a vibe that says I'm rich and I can afford anything I want.
I could have gotten the wrong actual meaning of the incident when it happened... but one just can't help but to feel that way....
Let me start the story.
Friend A and I were not exactly the best of friends... yes, we are friends, but not to the point where we tell each other secrets. We can request help from each other and there's no hard feelings even when we say no. The important thing here is that... we do not keep in contact frequent. We hardly talk.
And then A came and asked me if I wanted to chip in for a mutual friend, B's birthday present. In my mind I rejected on the spot, but I can't help but to say what I felt at that point of time. Why didn't you guys do the same for me for my birthday? Why do I have to cough money up now after all the time we didn't talk? And besides, B and I are drifting apart in our friendship. We simply stop talking for a reason that I hate the most. B kept saying work has been overwhelming but I see B enjoying with others .... so, why not me? I used to be B's best friend. Anyway, that's another story. Yeah, so why ask me now?
No answer was given when I asked why didn't they do the same for my birthday. I already knew that A cannot be bothered with me. I gave up too, I just replied that I wouldn't chip in. I got a fast response saying OK.
Maybe I could have gotten the wrong meaning... maybe they just want to count me in since it has been a long time since we interacted.
But you see, things haven't been rosy... and you really can't help but to think the same way I did in first instance.
And as a matter of fact, I have long prepared B's present when we were in the midst of salvaging our friendship. It is a costly gift. I took much time in choosing it. But now... things aren't the same as before and I feel reluctant to give it to B.I know I sound like I'm a nasty person. But would you in your correct mind give a gift to someone who doesn't treat you the same as before?
I understand everyone has their own clique... and apparently I am not in B's league anymore.
And I really do not like it when people think that I am a ATM. Cos I am not one. And I know I am not close with you guys anymore... so yeah... B, celebrate your special day with people who you love. There's no need to involve ex best friends in the event out of obligation.
Actually typing this entry may also become another issue for these two Friends to fuss in. Anyway, this is my point of view. I do not know how you guys think but this was exactly how I felt. I am just being honest to pen it down.
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